And I am back, yet again.

Okay, I am so confused after all of this traveling I don't even know what day it is half of the time. But, I am not complaining. I know I am lucky to be going to all of these places. We had a really good time at the lake and it was good for all of us. My girls have been away from me for 4 days, now with Aunt Libby and they are supposed to be coming back tommorrow. I miss them a lot and I look forward to seeing them. I got the house cleaned so I can just have fun with them when they come back. This Friday we are all leaving for a week at the lake before school starts and life will settle down some after that. Emmaline has been obsessed with death, lately. It really concerns me because she has been bringing it up for the past few weeks and she keeps saying that she thinks she is going to die soon. She asked me if I would be sad and told me that she really wants to go see Jesus. Needless to say I have been completely freaked out by the whole thing and I am hoping it is just a phase she is going through. I remember Annelise having questions about death at this age but not the obsession that Emmaline has. I don't know. It made me think about it though and I thought about what is really important in life. I decided that the most important things in life are what you do for others and what you do for God. Do I help people when I can? Have I made a positive difference anywhere for anyone? Have I been a good influence in someone's life? Do the things I do please God? I know the answer to those questions are different depending on the situation, but I hope that more often than not, they would be positive answers. Emmaline had a scary situation in the early Spring. She was supposed to be inside the lakehouse with her sister and I was raking leaves on the side of the house and Brian was on top of the house blowing leaves. I couldn't hear anything because the blower was so loud and I had my back turned to the lake, but all of a sudden, I threw the rake down and turned toward the lake. I saw Emmaline, legs spread between the dock and the paddleboat and just seconds from falling into about 18 feet of water. I knew I couldn't get to her in time if she fell into the water, so I started running and I screamed at her to just fall into the paddleboat. I told her to throw herself into it. She was crying, but she did as I asked, and I got to her and we were both crying . I explained to her what could have happened because she didn't obey me when I told her to stay in the house, and she also knew that it was a rule not to go to the dock by herself or without her lifejacket. If I hadn't turned around, we wouldn't have known where she was for hours. That was definately a God moment and I am eternally grateful for it. I wonder if that got her thinking about this death thing. It was several months ago, but maybe it has been in the back of her mind. Either way- I hope she finds a different obsession. This one makes me very uncomfortable. I hope that during my time here on Earth that my life will count for something. I like to think that I try.