Green Is Not My Color

For the last 5 weeks, I've been taking a course at church on Wed. nights. We have about 20 courses to choose from, all kinds of topics and each session lasts 6 weeks. After 6 weeks you pick a new course. I really like it because I've found all of the courses to be very informative so far and they have all inspired me to do some 'self-evaluation'. This course I'm presently in is called "It Came From Within" and it is an Andy Stanley study about things we do that we think are bad personality traits, but that are really about issues of the heart, and issues we have with God. So far we've discussed carrying grudges and guilt, guarding our hearts against worldly values and influence, and greed and jealousy. I almost skipped the night we talked about jealousy because that's never been one of my 'issues'. Trust me, I have plenty of issues- that's just not one of them. When I was talking to the instructor about it before class she told me that I was probably just not aware of how much I actually struggle with jealousy but that after I saw how Andy Stanley explained it I would probably be surprised that I do actually struggle with it. Well, he made some good points in the video, and I agreed with everything he said (as I usually do with him). But, after all was said and done, I realized that I really do not struggle with jealousy. So, this inspired me to go home and evaluate why that is. I came to the conclusion that it is because my life is so much better than I ever thought it could be that I never think about what "better things" other people have because I am so ridiculously happy with what I have. I mean- when I look back to what my life was before I gave it over to Jesus, and compare it to now, I am so freaking amazed at how absolutely wonderful it is now that I cannot believe this is my life. And I'm not talking about being financially blessed or about the opportunities that God has provided us throughout these past 15 years. All that is just icing on the cake-and all that could disappear today and I would still be content. It's because I know how truly blessed I am with the things that matter. I realize that most people in this world would trade places with me in a heartbeat. So, I guess that I don't think about what other people might have that I don't have because I'm so amazed at what I do have-again not talking about material things. I'm not trying to brag- this is nothing that I get credit for- it's all God and it is because He has allowed me to have this life and it is because I finally surrendered this life to Him- that makes my life wonderful. No matter what happens, nothing can touch my happiness because it is in my relationship with Him that my happiness resides. We have a lot of 'stuff'. A lot of nice 'stuff'- but we don't need that stuff to be happy. It's nice and we enjoy it, but it's not necessary for us to be happy. So, I guess that jealously just doesn't enter my mind because I know that I am so much happier than I ever imagined I could be, and I know things could have been a lot worse for me. My life is not perfect, but God is always with me and that is all I need to know- it makes all the difference. Don't waste your time wishing for something that someone else has. Look at your life and don't take your blessings for granted- we all have something to be thankful for. Now, next week in class we'll be talking about anger and that is where I'll get my toes stepped on. I have issues with my temper- I've made great strides over the past several years, but I still have work to do........ I guess we all struggle with something and that is my hurdle. I'm looking forward to the advice that will be given for that.