Crisis Averted....

It's really funny to realize the little things that we cannot function without. Two days ago I lost my dayplanner. (For those who know me, they know this was a tremendous crisis.) Every year I get a new dayplanner at Barnes and Noble. Usually I get those nice bigger-sized ones that have the stickers and all the extra stuff in them, but this year I decided to pick a small one, because it would fit in my purse and it was a lot cheaper. The thought did cross my mind that it may be harder to keep up with because it was so small, but I thought "Nah, I'll be able to keep up with it, I'll make sure I know where it is at all times." Now, this is not just a dayplanner for me. I keep all birthdays, all the girls appointments (and Brian's appointments) and all of my appointments and things to do in it. I sometimes even plan out my week and give myself a different big task to do on the days that both of the girls are in school. I live by this thing. The next couple of weeks had all kinds of stuff in them - basketball games, doctors appointments, lunch plans and Brian's call schedule, etc, etc. Well, when I couldn't find it 2 days ago, I started to feel a little panicky. By the time yesterday came around and I had been without it for 2 days, I became a lot panicky. I looked everywhere- even ridiculous places that I knew it could not possibly be. I became suspicious of the girls, grilling them on whether they had seen it or not because I know how much they love to draw and write in my old planners. I looked in the same places 2 or 3 times, all to no avail. I just knew I had left it in my car, but I looked in it twice and it was not there. So, yesterday, I became determined to find it and after scouring the house- I decided it just had to be in the car. I went and looked very thoroughly and sure enough , it was under a few magazines in the passenger floorboard. Now, I feel a little silly expressing my abnormal attachment to something like my dayplanner- but as always, this little experience led me to think about how all of that relates to life. I am in such a hurry all the time. I have no patience, which only makes that worse. I wonder how much I have missed because I was going too fast to notice or because my mind was so focused on one thing I missed something valuable at the time. How many moments and memories have I denied myself and my girls and my husband because I was in such a hurry for some reason or another? I looked in that car twice and never found my dayplanner. It wasn't until I stopped and cleared my head and decided to really search that I found it- and it had been right under my nose the whole time. How many things are you searching for that are right under your nose and if you would just slow down, you would see what you have been looking for? I think we all lead such busy, hurried lives that the answer to that would be long lists. Ironic, all the time I spent looking for my dayplanner, I am sure I missed out on some ordinary blessings that come with daily life. I have learned that I need one specific place to keep my planner, and also to slow down a bit and enjoy what each day has to offer. Hey, if I didn't learn from my mistakes, they wouldn't be worth making, now would they?

Facing Change

Anyone who knows me knows that I have no real fear of change. (Look at how many times I have moved for goodness sakes!) But I do allow myself to get sentimentally attached to things or places and sometimes I have a hard time "letting go" of these things and places. I thought about that this past week-end. We have been going to this church with some friends of ours for a few weeks, now and we really like it. There are a few things I have been struggling with pertaining to it, but overall it has been great. So that begs the question why, when I think of even possibly joining a church it just scares me to death. I know there are many possible reasons- because of what happened at our last church being a big one. But I think the main reason is because it really would make the separation from our old church totally final. Now, I do not want to go back there- not in any way. But, it almost feels like contemplating that final signature on divorce papers or something. When we joined there, we had no doubt it would be where we would stay until we died. We wanted to raise our children there. They were both born into that church. It became our second family and we poured our hearts and souls into that place. I would have walked through fire for that place and technically, I did. We even waited over a year to join because it was such a huge decision for us. Now we have left and surprisingly, out of all the people I loved like they were family- only one or two of them have even called us to say that they missed us or that they still wanted to keep in touch. So, after all the hurt, I don't know why I can't cut that final string tying us to that place, I guess it's because I had such huge hopes and dreams about what could have and should have been. Or maybe it's because the church we are going to, even though we really like it, isn't the final one for us. Maybe we are just supposed to go there for a little while. I don't know. I know that whatever happens, God is in control and He always has my best interests in mind. I just want Him to help me cut that final cord.
On other subjects, Annelise lost both top teeth this weekend. She looks and sounds like some bumpkin from the backwoods. (You know the type, the toothless wonders that they always interview on TVafter a tragedy at a trailor park.....) She did pass out when she lost the first top tooth, but did ok with the second one. I was not present for either. I made sure I got out of earshot as soon as I figured out Brian was about to pull them. She is excited and the tooth fairy was very busy for her this week-end! I thought Emmaline would be jealous, but she is taking it all pretty well. They are so funny. Annelise has a make-up basketball game tonight, so our evening is pretty much gone, but it is fun to watch her play. Oh, well- off to clean up, or at least attempt it!

Head Start

Usually I am pretty good about knowing what I want to do (decoration-wise) in a house. However, I have had a hard time choosing what to do with Annelise and Emmaline's shared bathroom for the next house. I was going to do a light blue and rose theme, but that is almost exactly what I am doing for Annelise's next bedroom. So, I had to come up with something else. I wanted something that would go with the floor we will do in there, which is the old-timey looking black and white honeycomb tile. I also wanted something that I wouldn't have to re-do in a few years because they have outgrown it. Well, I was browsing at Kohl's website (one of my fave stores...) and I found this set. It is called "Apple Pie" and it is made by Candies. I absolutely loved it. At first, I wondered what color I would paint the walls and then I noticed in the rug that some of the flower parts are tan- so the walls shall be also. I am very excited that this room is done. They are having free shipping right now, and all the bath sets are 30% off, and I have a coupon for 15% off my entire order! (It's like it was just meant to be!) We went to meet with the cabinet guy today and really liked what we saw there, too. As I have said before, we like to have everything picked out before we need it. A friend of mine from high school is going to do our landscaping- he is a landscape architect, and he does mostly commercial, but likes to do homes on the side. I know he will do a great job. I am just really getting excited about this house. We went to see granite samples, today and just could not find anything we liked/agreed upon. We are going to go to their supply warehouse next month, which is near our lakehouse and see if they have anything we haven't seen yet. Trying to find granite to go with the black and white backsplash we are doing is going to be tough. I am very happy that the girls bathroom has been decided, now I am going to try and focus on the sunroom- that has been the other room that I just cannot decide on. (I know, I have no "real" problems right now- let me enjoy that, okay?!) Enough for now, off to look at paint swatches for the hundredth time!

On the Move...

Well, I knew the time would come when I had to get back to life and all of my responsibilities. No more laying on the couch in a Lortab cloud. Oh, well, it was good while it lasted. The last few days have been a blur, but I am feeling a bit better- still incredibly sore. Went to the doctor today for my post-op check , and he said everything looks good, but I had a "knot" in one of my incisions. I thought he meant the kind of knot that can be massaged out or rubbed or just watched. Heck, no. Apparantly some of my skin had grown over a stitch and knotted it, so he had to get a big ole pair of hemostats and just yank that knot out, along with the piece of skin that was on it. (May I remind you that this was a sensitive area to begin with....) He had to yank it 3 or 4 times before it finally came off and I thought I was absolutely going to vomit on him or either faint dead away.... I actually held it together but as soon as he left the room I sat up and put my head between my knees. Then I had to go to the grocery store and I barely made it through that. Just typing about it makes me feel sick... I am so grateful that Emmaline spent the night with Aunt Libby last night so I did not have to deal with her this morning. I came home, put up the groceries and laid on the couch for a little while before I had to go get Annelise at school. Brian made a breakfast casserole for dinner tonight and I am making blueberry muffins and fruit to go with it. The girls are both going to be worn out tonight so they will get a bath and go to bed on time and then I am going to crash. I slept 1 hour last night and have no idea why. At least the phone calls have been pretty tame today for the office. Oh, well- back to those- hope tommorrow is a better day!!

Almost Back

Well, I am almost back to "normal" whatever that means! Just making it on Ibuprofen, except at night . Learned that lesson the hard way, last night I went to bed thinking I would be fine with just Motrin and woke up at about 5:30 this morning hurting A LOT. S0, I know that I will be taking the good stuff before bed tonight. Thank goodness the girls are at Aunt Libby's last night and today. I took a shower this morning and almost passed out- so my fanny will be on the couch for the rest of the day. I had big dreams of going to the grocery store and stuff today, but that is not going to happen. Brian has been such a good nurse. Poor thing. He has never had to care for the girls for this long all by himself. He was so excited that he got to go back to work this morning. For the first few days after my surgery, he would set his alarm for 4 a.m. and give me pain meds so I wouldn't wake up hurting. He made the statement that if something happened and I became disabled, he would have to hire a nanny. Annelise immediately said, "Yeah, and I'll run that nanny right off." She didn't even blink when she said it. She is so funny. Hopefully I will be back to normal in the next couple of days. I really don't have a choice!

Ode For The Day

Lortab, How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.... I love you iin the morning, I love you in the evenings. I love you every 4 to 6 hours. You are always there when I need you. Seriously my surgery went well, but boy am I sore! Brian took the girls to school today. Emmaline's Valentine class party is today, and I volunteered him to cook the pancakes for her class. (Hah-hah...) The man does make a mean pancake. He will probably be the only man there, but he will be busy cooking and won't be forced to engage in all the "hen talk." For Valentines, he gave me a lime quartz ring and I got him a nice Clemson sweatshirt that he had been wanting for a while. For now, Lortab is my Valentine with Flexaril at a close second favorite. I think by tommorrow Iwill feel much better as far as the soreness. Well, I think the pain medicine is kicking in right now and I will soon be incoherent, so before I write something silly, I am going to lay down......

Third Time is Hopefully a Charm....

So I go to the orthodontist yesterday. I have never had straight teeth on the bottom and they just seemed to be getting worse, so my dentist recommends I go see the orthodontist. I thought maybe he could just do an invisiline or those metal wires that go behind your teeth or something. Hah. For a brief history- I have had braces once on the top, twice on the bottom, umpteen retainers, a head gear (that was just awful) - you name it, it has been done to my teeth. All to no avail. The orthodontist tells me yesterday that I will have braces for a third time- not only on bottom, but on top, too. What??! I thought my top teeth were fine, but apparantly not. He said if I do not do the braces, my bite will be way off in a few years and my teeth will only get worse. Not only that, but he is going to make me wear rubber bands for a while and also put "glue dots" behind my front teeth for the first month, so that my top teeth don't hit my bottom braces when I close my mouth. That of course means I will be on a soft diet for a month. At least I won't have to worry about losing that final 10 lbs before the cruise!! Of course, I am an old pro at the braces thing, so I know what to expect and it is not going to be fun, but at least I will finally have straight teeth after all this time. 18 months according to the Dr. is what it is going to take. The new kind of braces are ok- they are a lot smaller than the old big kind and they only have to be adjusted every 10 weeks instead of every 4. I am very upset about the no gum, no popcorn and no sodas rule, though. Gum is like cigarettes to me. I never imagined myself as a 33 year old in braces. Annelise and Emmaline are very intrigued by the whole thing. They cannot wait to see what I look like. I have an appt in early March to get it done, so I have a few weeks to go into the "acceptance" phase, I guess. Other than that, just trying to get this house cleaned up before my surgery this Thursday- so I better go get to it.

Happy Days Are Here Again

No blog for a few days, but I have been working out some of my "issues" so I needed time. Of course, I don't blog about everything that is going on because I do have problems that are private to me, but I am definitely glad to be on the up swing for now. I have been having issues in my marriage with the "7-year itch." I never believed it was real until now. No, I did not come close to cheating on my husband or anything like that. I just got tired of being married and got tired of Brian and just kind of sick of everyday mundane life. You know, when the "magic" is gone. Or, when you just feel like you are co-existing in the same house with someone because that is basically what it is- and the actual relationship is barely there. I can see why the divorce rate is so high. But, I struggled with all of this for weeks and it just made me completely miserable and I just sank deeper and deeper into the abyss. Well- I got a book that was just the thing I needed. It is called "Every Woman's Marriage" and it is just amazing. It was in the Christian Living section at Barnes and Noble and was written by a woman who is married to a youth pastor. Just reading the first few paragraphs I knew it was what I needed. It was like this woman took the words out of my mind and wrote them in this book. In just a matter of a couple of days I was a different person. Talking to Brian about it all and most of all talking to God about it all really helped. I feel like marriage is kind of like a video game. Each year is a different level. If you can make it past a level, you get rewarded. Each level has gotten harder so far, but the rewards are wonderful. I am just glad to be back to myself again. Annelise's teacher gave me a good point the other day. She said "You know, I find myself fussing at my 2 year old all the time- it is always a battle of the wills and I can't seem to get her to understand that I know better and I only want what is good and best for her. " I agreed with that statement, having 2 strong willed females to deal with myself. She went on to say," You know I realized that this is what God must feel like when He is dealing with us." How true that is. I know that there have been times with my kids when I am screaming at them "Why won't you listen to me?? You think you know everything and you don't! Why can't you see that I am doing this for your own good, because I love you?!" I just want to grab them and shake them sometimes! Well I know that God must feel like that with me sometimes. He probably got really frustrated with me these past couple of weeks. I am so thankful that He gave me such a patient and loving husband who stood by me and did whatever he could to try and make me feel better and work through things these past few weeks. Poor Brian- I just unloaded on him a few times and he just took it. When the whole time the issues have been within me and had almost nothing to do with him. Anyway- no more blah mode- I am a happy gal and I have snapped out of my fog I was in. Other news- we closed on our lot and have picked out a lot of stuff for the new house so we won't be overwhelmed when the time comes to do all of that. I am finally excited about building and can't wait to start seeing it come together. For now, I need to go tag all of my consignment items for the children's consignment sale I do twice a year. Now that the snippety snip has occured, I can get rid of all the stuff I was saving "just in case".........

All is Calm

Really nothing new to tell. We have just been getting some little things done that we have had on the "to do list" for a while. Annelise went last Friday to donate her hair to Locks of Love. She was able to donate 12 inches and still has enough for a ponytail. She is a brunette, now, though. All of the blonde was cut off! (I have pictures and will post them later...) She lost another tooth last night. It was on the bottom row, right next to the one she lost a few weeks ago. She did not pass out this time! The tooth fairy left her a note, $2.00 and a pack of gum. I have still been in blah mode. Brian and I and the girls spent a long time at the lot this week end and we argued about almost everything. We went to my parents Sunday for church and lunch, and that was good, but I just can't seem to come out of this little slump I am in right now. I know that a lot of my foul mood has to do with the fact that we have not plugged into a church, yet. We are going to have to do that soon, even if we don't join anywhere, yet. I can tell that I have not been on a regular basis and it is really getting to me. I seem to have hit a plateau with my weight loss and after the 8 lbs, nothing else has happened. I am having some outpatient surgery next Friday and will not be able to work out for a few weeks after that, so I need to get to the gym at least a few times this week. I've been doing really well with eating and stuff, but I am an "instant gratification" type person and I want to see results, now. Anyway- hopefully I will feel better, soon. Moods like this make me feel tired and I don't do anything productive- and I have soooo much to do right now! The weather was nice today, so that helped a little. I have a tremendous amount to be thankful for, so I am going to try to think about those things and try to keep myself busy- that usually helps. Just one of those times and it too shall pass....