I'd go home, if I only knew where that was.....

So, we had decided we were moving back to the Eastside. We had also decided we were moving back into our old house, which is occupied by renters for the next year and a half. Weeellll, now we're not sure. About the house, anyway. We're definately moving back to the Eastside- we just don't know exactly where. Here's the thing: The renters that are in our house are wanting to buy it, really, really bad. We have the potential to put a lot of money in our pockets from that sale because of the equity we have in it. IF we don't sell it to them and we move back into it, we'll have to move into a rental for a while, until the rental agreement is up and then renovate it- and I mean serious renovations. We had already updated it when we lived there before, so all of that money would have been wasted. We're concerned that because it is a 1960's BradyBunchSpecial tri-level that the additions we want to do won't look right. We're concerned that the area that the house is in will go downhill over time. We're concerned that the land will eventually be too much to take care of (5 acres). But we do like it there and it is close to almost everything we do. Soooo, we've got a lot to think about. In the meantime, we've started telling people that this house we're in is going to be up for sale. Brian's gonna do a website for it and we're going to attempt to sell it by owner first so we don't lose our butts on it. Makes me sick to think of selling. This was our dream house. It's just too far away from all the stuff we do. Especially Emmaline's ballet. *sigh* I wish I could just pick it up and move it..... So if anyone who reads this knows someone moving to the Greenville, SC area and wants to drop about $850,000 (yep, and that's about $25,000 less than we have in it...) for a brand new, all the bells and whistles, drop dead gorgeous 5100 square foot house in an awesome neighborhood on a double lot (1.3 acres)- just let me know. ;0) I'm thinking the husbands will be sold on the 126 inch projection screen in the 30x24 family room and the wives will love that there are 3 huge walk in closets in the master bedroom. (Did I mention the pool house with the full bathroom and the salt water pool?Oh, and let's not forget the fact that our school district is awesome and our elementary school just won the coveted blue ribbon award...) I hate to leave it, I really do. But I believe with all of my heart that God wants us back out on the Eastside and that He will sell it for us. Gotta have faith, right?? I'm hoping that by Spring or early Summer that we will have a contract, and I guess we will have figured out where we're moving to by then. Sheesh.
In the meantime, I've enrolled into course #4 for this Master's degree program. I'm now a certified grief counselor- got the professional looking diploma thingy and everything. But I still have 6 more courses to go before I get my degree. Makes me wanna stab myself in the eye when I think of all the papers I'm going to have to write. This course I just started is 26 papers in 15 weeks. One is a 20-25 page research paper. YAY!! But I'll survive- the degree will be so worth it! Oh, well- I hear the bed calling. It's raining and cold and that equals perfect sleeping weather for me..... sweet dreams!

Frustration

You know, sometimes I have just had enough. This is one of those times. I have hidden a person on facebook because of the rants they go on about religion and what their opinion is of what a Christian should be doing. The posts are extremely legalistic. I cannot stand legalism. It clouds what Christianity should be about. It focuses on doing things to 'earn' your way into Heaven. It focuses on how unworthy we are and it is critical and condescending to the point that it makes you feel like you should be flogging yourself. I am thoroughly aware that I am not worthy of any of God's blessings. I never will be. That's a given. But I do not feel for one minute that God would want us constantly beating ourselves down about how awful we are or how many things we are not doing or are doing or monitoring every single thing we do in order to try to 'earn' our way into Heaven. I look at God as a father, and as a parent, I would be so heartbroken if my children were preoccupied with how bad they were and how they don't measure up to what I want sometimes. When people do this, they totally miss out on the joy that comes from that relationship. It's people like this that will make non-Christians run as far away from God as they can. Even though I have hidden this person, I ran across a 'note' that they wrote about how 'we' are so much more devoted to worldly things than to Godly things. (That's another thing- don't use the word 'we'. If you're gonna say something that you think people have a problem with, say 'I' or say 'some people'. Because I do not have an issue with most of the things this person writes about, so I have to wonder who 'we' is.... ) This person talked about how much time 'we' spend watching football and also about how people will get up at 3 am to go shopping on Black Friday, but they asked 'when is the last time we spent 3 hours talking to God or got up at 3 am to spend time with Him'? It's not just asking, this person is telling people that they are not behaving as Christians should because they spend more time doing these other things than they do with God. Well, I totally disagree. Now, I personally do not go near a store on Black Friday, no way, no how. But I do love to watch college football. It's a bit of an obsession for me. It's like cheap therapy. I get caught up in it and I get excited and it is a lot of fun in my book. But does it even compare to how I feel about God and what He does in my life? Absolutely not. It's apples and oranges. It is ridiculous to even compare the two. I can tell you that I may spend hours on Saturdays watching football, but a 15 minute heart to heart conversation with my daughter means a world more to me than any game ever could. I can tell you that my husband spends 10 hours (sometimes more) at work every week day and only a few hours with us in the evenings, but we all know without a doubt that we are much more important to him than his job is. I have 2 main points here- 1.) It's about quality of time, not quantity, and 2.) Someone's love for God should not even be compared to their love for ridiculous things like shopping or watching football. It should be in a whole different realm. It is just absolutely insane for me to think that the two could even be related. And I have a question- Why can't we spend time with God while we watch football or while we're shopping? Why can't He be a part of everything we do all the time? What is the recommended amount of time we should spend in Bible study or prayer each day to be allowed to consider ourselves a 'good Christian'? I talk to God all day long. When something comes to my mind that I'm struggling with or that I want to talk to someone about, He is my go-to guy. In fact, if someone peered into my window at any point during the day, they may think I was crazy, because when I talk to Him, I talk out loud and I frequently talk for long periods of time. I just don't understand why this person thinks God has to be separate from everything else we do. Why isn't He a part of it all? This person, to me, seems to have very legalistic and immature views of Christianity. I feel sorry for them. Because when all you do is focus on what you are or are not doing and beating yourself up over every little thing, you are really missing out on the joy and peace that comes from having that relationship with Jesus. We will never be good enough. We all know that. But we don't have to dwell on that, because God loves us anyway. We should always be striving to be better, because there's always room for improvement, and that goes for every area of life, but don't let your 'unworthiness' become an obsession. I don't think for one second that God would want us to live that way. And, as for football, I'm pretty sure Jesus is a Clemson fan...... ;0) I feel better now- goodnight.