The Lucky Ones

So, a few weeks ago we went with the girls school to hand out blankets, coats, gloves, hats and food to the less fortunate and homeless downtown. We set up booths out of the backs of trucks and I was at the blanket station. The girls went with us and we were all a little anxious- didn't know what to expect. We had gone out in the days before this and raided all of the Goodwill and Miracle Hill stores and bought all kinds of blankets and heavy coats to donate to this endeavor. When we arrived, it was raining and there were people lined up waiting on us, shouting things and being rude and pushy with each other because they wanted to be first to choose what they needed and they wanted to make sure they got what they came for. Their shouting and arguing scared the girls, but we explained to them that these people were desperate for the things we were handing out and that they were scared they wouldn't get anything. Of course, the people didn't know that we had hundreds of blankets and coats, but when they saw us dragging it all out, they relaxed some and quietened down. We were at the blanket booth. We separated all of the blankets by size and thickness. There was a special pile of twin sized fleece throws just for the children. I asked the lady in charge how to determine who to give the large, thick king sized blankets to since we didn't have as many of those. She told me I had to ask each person if they sleep outside or not, and if they answered 'yes', then we would give them a big, warmer blanket. "Wait a minute," I thought, "You mean we have to actually ask people if they sleep outside??" Just the thought of that made my stomach drop. But since that was the only way to determine how to give out the bigger blankets, that was just the way it was going to have to be. And so, we asked people, one by one, if they slept outside. After about 15 people came through, we had someone answer "Yes ma'am". He smiled at us when he said it and he was very polite. I knew the answer was yes before we even asked- he looked like he had been living outside for quite some time. We chose a big blanket and handed it to him. He thanked us and went on his way. My oldest daughter just stood there with tears in her eyes and stared into space. Don't get me wrong- I know people are homeless- I know people sleep outside. But to have to look someone in the eyes and ask them if they do and then hear them answer 'yes' and just hand them a blanket and send them on their way was really really difficult. It affected all of us. We gave out all of our blankets- the ones who slept outside were especially grateful for them. One man was so excited to get a ratty, used (but very warm and no holes) blanket we had picked up at Goodwill that he smiled so big his eyes disappeared and said "I am just SO thankful for this!!" It brought tears to my eyes. When I got into my warm, soft, safe bed that night, the question kept running through my mind "Do you sleep outside? Do you sleep outside? Do you sleep outside?" I was so grateful for my life, and yet felt so helpless at the same time. I felt guilty for having the things I have, and for stressing about the ridiculous things I stress about. The good thing that came out of it, besides the fact that I know that at least the people sleeping outside are a little warmer because of those blankets and coats, is that I have learned what contentment feels like. I've learned that I can very easily be extremely happy and content right where I am, no matter what the circumstances are. Because my happiness and my level of content do not depend on circumstances. They depend on Jesus- and He is the only place to find true joy and contentment- and He is just as much there for the ones who sleep outside as He is for me. What happens in this world is just a blink in the eye of eternity. I pray that these people we met would be able to feel that love that only God can give and that it will bring them comfort- no matter what their circumstances are. My girls have also learned that lesson. They pray for these people we met every single night- my heart melts at the sincerity in their child prayers. And so, Christmas was wonderful, not because of the gifts or the food, but because I was so hyper aware of the reason for the season. I am happy to ring in this new year. I don't know what it holds- but whatever it is, I will be content and I will find my joy in Jesus. Hoping all who read will have a peaceful 2012 full of happiness.