Faith Like a Grain of Mustard Seed

I was able to just let go of this stress about wanting to move back and let God handle it. I know if He thinks we'll be happier back in G'ville that He'll make sure we get back out there, and if not, there's a good reason that I just don't know about yet that we're here. So, either way, as long as He's in charge, I'm good. I'm still a little sad and if I let myself -I'll worry, but I'm much better than I was. The nice weather helped lift my spirits some. Aunt Libby came and got the girls on Friday to spend the night with her, so I just sat on our front porch in a rocker and enjoyed the sun and the birds and the breeze. A lot of thoughts came into my mind during the hour or so I was out there. One was, We're not really supposed to feel at home anywhere here, because this Earth is not our 'home'. Also, Brian gets very stressed out at the thought of moving, so he isn't real hot on the idea at all. I thought about that and was reminded that when you really love someone, their wants should come before yours. That's hard for me, but I do really love him, so I told him I would agree to give it a year or so here in P'ville to see if things get better. He seemed to be happy with that. I do worry that our house in G'ville will sell during that time and we will have lost it, but if that happens, I'll know it just wasn't God's will for us to be back there. So, for now, I'm ok. I'm better. But there's a small part of me inside that is still holding on to the possiblity that a miracle will occur and we'll move back. It's just not getting to me like it was. I keep thinking of an illustration I used for a youth group once. I told them that only God knows what's best for us, because only He can see the 'big picture'. It's like when a baby wants a quarter so bad, they cry for it, they scream for it, they try their best to get it. But the parent doesn't give it to them because they know the baby will put it in their mouth and choke. But the baby doesn't understand that - they just know they want it, and they get angry with the parent for not giving it to them. Well, I know that maybe the house in G'ville is my quarter. Maybe it's not in our best interest to go back and I just can't see it because I want it so bad. That's why I have to trust God. He knows and only He knows. We'll see. For now I'm just going to go on with life and do my best here at this house. I'm just thankful that I'm not as upset as I was last week. It's amazing what happens when you just let go. It's also amazing that God actually wants us to give Him our burdens and our problems, even when He knows that we're in a mess that we created ourselves, He's still willing to get us out of it if we will have faith and trust Him. Well- I'm off to a meeting. Just wanted to update and get all of this off my chest. Looking for a better week!