First Day Equals Emotional Wreck

Emmaline at her desk. She did so well- just walked right in and sat down!

Annelise at her desk. She always does well. She would be fine for me

to just drop her off at the door.

Emmaline, getting ready to go to her first day of K-5- in her dress

she wanted. She has this new fake smile where she opens her eyes

really wide and looks a bit serial-killer-ish.

Annelise going to her first day of 1st grade. I couldn't find her a

black and white skirt with squares like she wanted, but she did like

this shirt. It has little pink sequins between the roses at the top. Of

course, it went well with her silver sequin tennis shoes.......

Well, the girls did so very well their first day and loved, loved, loved their day. I, however, was a total basketcase yesterday! (In my defense, I did have one going into K-5 and one going into first grade all at once...both huge childhood milestones!) I dropped them off and had to stop myself from absolute bawling about 10 times. I am not an emotional person and I do not cry very often- so I could not understand what was wrong with me and I did not know how to make it stop! I got out of there and went on to Barnes and Noble to distract myself with magazines and coffee and continue my "first day of school" tradition. Just when I had looked at a house decorating book almost long enough to get my mind off of the girls and how old they have gotten and such, a woman walked right in front of me pushing her baby girl in a stroller and had her 2-year old girl bouncing around behind her, asking her if she had to go potty and promising a "prize" if she was good while they were there. Well, I just lost it at that point. It seems like just last year when that was me, pushing Emmaline around in a stroller with Annelise close beside me. Watching Annelise chase "butterfies" in the yard and Emmaline grinning a toothless grin at her while she did that. Annelise asking to eat "tip-o-tees" (cherry tomatoes) and running to meet her Daddy at the door when he got home from work. Man, if I had known how precious that time was when I had it.... I had this overwhelming sense of guilt for all the times I took for granted with them and had so many regrets about what I could have and should have done when I had the opportunity. I have never been so glad that Brian had already gotten snipped, because otherwise I may have come home and demanded another baby, to which he would have happily obliged! I feel a little better today, even though I am getting a bit teary-eyed while I type this. I just want for Annelise and Emmaline to look back at their childhoods and know that they were loved so very much and have great memories of doing things with us. Anyway- I hope that they both have a great school year and enjoy their classes and teachers. This "room coordinator" thing is already draining me, but it does make me feel like I am doing something important for Annelise. She also thinks it is really cool and is very proud that the room coordinator is her mom. Well- enough for now, I have got to go catch up on cleaning! I hope everyone has a good first day at school and that the year will be great for all of our kids!