June Cleaver I Ain't

So we have been visiting different Sunday School classes at the church we have been going to. There are many in our age group so we have been going around to each one with our friends and trying to find one that we feel like we "fit" into really well. It hasn't happened so far, but this past Sunday we thought we had finally found one that would be a contender. The teacher was great and well-educated. The people in the class were almost all our age with kids. The class wasn't too big or too small. We started to feel pretty good about it..... Anyway, one of the guys in the class (who just happened to go to school with Brian) invited our family to eat lunch with their family out to a restaurant. We were kind of put on the spot and didn't have plans, so we agreed to go. Got to the restaurant and found that there were also 3 other families from the class that they had invited. No big deal. I can talk to a wall and I am not what one would call shy, so I was cool with it. All the kids sat at one end of the table, the women sat at the other end and the men in the middle. About 5 minutes into the conversation, the other 3 women were already trying to convince me to home school my children. Okay, for those who know me you know how hysterical that is. I calmly explained to them that I had zero patience and also a terrible temper and that my children would be the dumbest children on the planet if I attempted to home school them. They all stated that they too had said the same thing just a short while ago and that if I would just be open to it, God would show me that I could do it. (Let me remind you that my children already go to private Christian school for goodness sakes....) I just stared at them. One woman then piped up and said that she knew it was meant to be when her husband was the one to bring it up and she never thought he would have been in favor of it before. I told her that I could surely put all their concerns to rest then, because my husband had stated that even if I ever wanted to home school he would not let me. They looked at me like I was from outer space. (And that wasn't the only time during lunch that I got that look.) After a while, I was tempted to take one of them into the bathroom and check their head for the screwplate that led to the wiring that was installed when they became Stepford Wives. They were in shock that I desperately want to go back to work outside of the home. They could not believe that I would rather work with teens than children. I was getting slightly uncomfortable and really anxious to leave. I heard the men talking about college basketball and sooo wanted to ask if anyone knew the final score of the BC/UNC game, but I thought if I asked such a question that the women may assume I was a lesbian. The final straw was when the men stated that they have a "guy's night out" once a month and it is nice because it gives the women a "real break" because they wait until the kids have been put to bed to leave. I told Brian in the car that I would take a break whenever I thought I needed one, regardless of what time it was, thank you very much. I asked the women what they do on their "girls night out" that they also take once a month and they said the last one was when they went to someone's house and she actually made her pasta from scratch and she made a lasagna and they all shrieked and laughed about how great it was. (Alrighty then....) Not exactly my idea of a good time. There are a few things I can pretty much guarantee: I will never again drive a mini-van, I will never home school my children, I will never have a "soccer mom" bumper sticker on my car, I will never wear "mom jeans" and I will never ever let this group of women get me alone somewhere, lest they take me to the workshop where their real bodies are being held and transform me into what they are. I am not what one would think of as a typical mom. I sometimes wish I could be, but that is just not the way I was made. I love my kids and I spend lots of quality time with them and they are very emotionally and mentally stable. It works for us, and I cannot change so I have just accepted the way I am. That being said, I told my husband that if this class is the one everyone likes, then I can deal with it. I can socialize with these people every now and then, and I can surely survive in a Sunday School class with them. I do have access to narcotics......